Introduction:
Would you choose to live in the Philippines with all of its little irritants if you didn’t get special treatment, the chance to date younger women, and benefit from the exchange rate. If those things aren’t important to you, stick around. The Philippines might not be for you. I’m going to compare the Philippines to Europe in regard to cost, status, age gaps and the overall ease of dating. Then we’ll explore if ALL THE the little barbs that are a part of living here are worth it if none of the above matter to you.
In Fact, at the end there are three questions for you to answer. If you say no to any of them, the Philippines is probably not for you.
COST OF LIVING
Numbeo, a crowd-sourced cost database, puts the Philippines about 55 percent below the United States. Spain, a popular European retirement pick, runs about 33 percent below. The same dollar goes further in the Philippines, and that difference shows up as more living space, more meals eating out, a larger dating budget, and extras like hiring a maid or a cook.
STATUS
In Europe, you are ordinary. Nobody defers to you, and you stand in line like everyone else. In the Philippines, your dollars buy rank, and so does your age. A Philippine columnist notes that many people assume foreigners are rich. (link below) The assumption of wealth opens doors, but also raises prices if you’re not careful.
AGE GAPS: EUROPE VERSUS THE PHILIPPINES
Europe first. A UK poll found 57 percent of British adults think dating someone 10 years younger is acceptable, and only 27 percent say the same about 20 years younger. A study at Oakland University found younger people judge age-gap relationships more harshly than older people, and young women were more put off than older women. The Philippines is mixed too. A Social Weather Stations survey found Filipinos split, with 50 percent saying age gap matters and 41 percent saying it does not.
The important part of those numbers is this: Among women 18 to 24, 65 percent said it matters. I think its safe to say that the younger generations of women, are less inclined to accept large age gaps, and I attribute that to their ability to earn and work on their own.
THE EASE OF DATING
Here is the difference between Europe and the Philippines. In Europe, you’re just one more man in the crowd and a big gap in age will draw judgment from the women and the people around you. In the Philippines, your status and role as the provider opens many doors of opportunity and negates much of the negative (most objections are based on jealousy in my opinion). Many women here also want a “Hybrid Baby”. Filipino term, not mine. They want babies with light skin and bigger nose.
LIFE IS TRANSACTIONAL EVERYWHERE
Dating in America is a trade. Dating in Europe is a trade. Dating in the Philippines is a trade. Status, security, companionship, and money are part of the formula in every country, so stop crying about being seen as a wallet. Set limits, agree on expectations early and decide (in detail) what you will support.
In my experience, the Western checklist can read like 6-6-6: six feet, six figures, six-pack. In the Philippines, kindness and character with the willingness to provide count more than the western 6-6-6.
YOUR RISK IN THE PHILIPPINES
Family obligations can grow over time. Define them before they define you.
A Mismatch of Expectations, interests and jealousy are a real risk, do your homework.
One retirement guide warns that an older husband's jealousy and a mismatch in expectations can turn a marriage into a powder keg.
The fade. This is the biggest thing to understand. Deference does not last forever. When people become used to you, and you will loose the special treatment.
Wrap Up - THREE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
Would I stay without special treatment?
Would I stay if my income increased 50 percent?
Can articulate what I am paying for, out loud, without embarrassment?
Three yeses mean you chose this life. Anything less means you may not belong in the philippines.
VERIFIED CITATIONS WITH LIVE URLS
Dream Elsewhere, Philippines cost of living per Numbeo: https://dreamelsewhere.com/countries/phl
Islands, Spain cost of living per Numbeo: https://www.islands.com/2059130/best-affordable-cities-retire-spain
Numbeo cost of living database: https://www.numbeo.com
Philstar, assumptions about foreigners' wealth: https://www.philstar.com/opinion/2019/04/22/1911415/racial-bias
YouGov UK, attitudes to age gaps: https://yougov.com/en-gb/articles/2066-mind-age-gap
Stylist, Oakland University study on judgment of age-gap relationships: https://www.stylist.co.uk/life/why-do-people-judge-age-gap-relationships-man-older-than-woman-may-december-romance-stigma/220943
Masaryk University, age discrepancies in 29 European countries: https://www.fss.muni.cz/vyzkum/publikace/prehled/2461317
Philstar, SWS survey on age gaps: https://www.philstar.com/headlines/2019/02/14/1893649/pinoys-split-relationship-age-gaps/amp/
Philstar, Bumble 2024 dating trends: https://philstar.com/health-and-family/2024/07/30/2373819/latest-relationship-trend-women-no-longer-mind-big-age-gaps-study
Filipina Meet, marriage expectations and provider role: https://filipinameet.com/blog/marriage-expectations-filipina-relationships
Ateneo de Manila, Social Transformations Journal on utang na loob: https://archium.ateneo.edu/socialtransformations/vol12/iss1/4
Retiring to the Philippines, age-gap relationship guidance: https://retiringtothephilippines.com/guide/about-the-philippines/age-gap-relationship-powderkeg/amp
Global Investments, land ownership under the Constitution: https://globalinvestments.net/expat/living-in-philippines-srrv-healthcare-property