Women's Dating Standards vs. Reality: What the Numbers Say

Apr 29

Are women's dating standards truly unrealistic, or is that just something bitter men say online? Let’s look at the actual census data, Pew Research findings, and the infamous Female Delusion Calculator at IGotstandardsbro.com to find out what the numbers say. We break down exactly what percentage of men are 6 feet tall, how many earn over $100K, and what happens when you combine multiple "standard" requirements. No opinions, just data.

What is - “I got standards Bro”

In 2021, an anonymous developer (self-described as a man who'd spent years dating in North America) launched a website. He called it IGotstandardsBro.com. He built it using data from the US Census Bureau and the National Center for Health Statistics. He called the main feature the Female Delusion Calculator, and it went viral.

Today, we're not going to debate whether the website is mean. We're going to look at what the data actually says, why it resonates with so many people, where it falls short, and what researchers, not internet commentators, have actually found about dating expectations and the modern relationship gap.

How Does It Work

The website invites heterosexual women to enter their preferences for a potential male partner. Specifically: Age range, Minimum height, Race, Minimum income, Marital status (never married vs. any), and Weight (with an option to exclude obese men)

Once you enter those parameters, the calculator pulls from US Census Bureau data (specifically the 2020 Annual Social and Economic Supplement of the Current Population Survey) and outputs a percentage. That percentage represents the share of American men who actually fit your stated criteria.

It also gives you a “delusion score” (rated in cat litter bags) and a label. Depending on how narrow or broad your requirements are, you are rated someplace between “easy to please” and “you don’t belong on this planet”.

The creator has stated his motivation plainly in the site's “About” section. He wrote that during his time dating in North America, he noticed women often have expectations that don't match the available pool of men. His argument: as time passes and standards don't change, many women find themselves still single and wondering why.

THE HEIGHT PROBLEM

One of the most common preferences cited by women on dating apps is height. Specifically, a preference for men who are 6 feet tall or taller. However, according to statistics consistent with CDC and Census height data, only approximately 14 to 15 percent of American men are 6 feet tall or taller. The average height of an American man is 5 feet 9 inches. A 2026 data report from Gitnux found that 80% of women prefer to date men taller than themselves, and only 4% of women say height doesn't matter at all in a partner.

Research published in academic literature confirms that women on average prefer male partners who are roughly 5 inches taller than they are, with a minimally acceptable height differential of about 1.5 inches. Men, by contrast, showed a minimally acceptable differential of zero, meaning many men are willing to date women their own height or taller. Here's where it gets mathematically tricky. If roughly 14% of men are 6 feet or taller, and a significant share of women are specifically filtering for this, you have intense competition for a small pool.

Now, to be fair — there's counter-evidence here. A 2025 analysis from The Dating Optimist, which compared actual self-reported dating preferences against CDC height data from roughly 75 survey respondents, found that real-world female preferences on height may be less rigid than the stereotype suggests. Many women in that survey said they'd be open to partners at or near their own height.

So the reality is nuanced. The preference is real. But the hard-line '6 feet or nothing' rule is likely more common in dating app bios than in actual practice. Still, the math does not favor women who apply that filter strictly.

THE INCOME EXPECTATION

Height gets the headlines, but income expectations may be the deeper issue. A 2017 Pew Research survey found that 71% of women said it was 'very important' for a man to be able to provide financially in order to be considered a good spouse or partner. A separate survey found that 81% of women said they would be less likely to date someone without a job, compared to only 56% of men saying the same about women.

Research from the Institute for Family Studies, using large-scale international online dating data, found that women are significantly more selective than men when it comes to income and education. Men with above-average income and education received disproportionately higher interest from women. A study of over 1.8 million online daters across 24 countries found that men with above-average resources received 255% more interest than those with below-average resources.

Now let's put income expectations against reality. The female delusion calculator uses a minimum income slider. If a woman sets that minimum at $100,000 per year, a figure commonly cited as a baseline by women in social media discussions about standards, she has eliminated the vast majority of American men. As of recent Census data, fewer than 10% of American men earn $100,000 or more annually, and many who do are already married or past what many women consider their preferred age range.

Combine height over 6 feet (approximately 14–15% of men) with income over $100K (under 10% of men), and you are mathematically looking at well under 2% of the American male population. That is before factoring in marital status, age range, or any other preferences. That is not a value judgment. That is arithmetic."

HYPERGAMY

Here's the part that often gets left out of this conversation: the science. Women's tendency to prefer partners with higher income and status has a name in social science. The name is hypergamy, and it is well-documented across cultures. A landmark 45-country replication study (with over 14,000 participants) confirmed that women, more than men, prefer older partners with financial prospects. This appeared in every country studied, regardless of culture or economic system.

Research published in the Journal of Human Resources, analyzing Norwegian administrative data from one of the most gender-equal countries on Earth, confirmed that hypergamy remains a significant feature of modern mating patterns, even where men and women have near-equal earnings distributions.

And according to the Institute for Family Studies' analysis of US Census American Community Survey data, around two-thirds of recently-married American women were out-earned by their husbands. This rate is higher than what would be expected by random pairing of male and female incomes. This suggests active selection, not just statistical coincidence.

Important nuance here: Hypergamy is declining in some areas. Educational hypergamy (women marrying men with more education) has reversed in many countries as women now out-earn men in college graduation rates. A major cross-national study found that in countries where more than 20% of the population has a college degree, women increasingly have equal or greater educational attainment, and marry across or down in education more frequently.

So the picture is complex. The income and status preference appears durable. The educational preference is shifting, and both are influenced by culture, economics, and individual circumstance.

THE DATING GAP

Now let's zoom out and look at the big picture of who is actually dating. In 2023, Pew Research Center data (analyzed by the Institute for Family Studies) suggested that among young adults aged 18–29, approximately 63% of men were single, compared to roughly 34% of women.

Now, that number warrants some scrutiny. The Institute for Family Studies' own researchers noted that the 30-point gap cited by Pew may be somewhat overstated due to factors like men tending to date younger women, which shifts some partnered men outside the 18–29 sample, and differences in how men and women self-identify as 'in a relationship.' When adjusted for these factors, the gap is likely closer to 10 percentage points. Still meaningful, but not as dramatic.

However, even accounting for that correction, a real and persistent gender gap in singlehood among young adults is documented. Pew's own data from 2022 also found that 61% of single men said they were currently looking for a relationship, compared to only 38% of single women.

A separate finding from researcher Rob Henderson, analyzing survey data, found that a larger percentage of women than men said that 'not being able to find someone who meets their expectations' was a major reason they were single. Notably, college-educated women reported this at higher rates than women without college degrees, suggesting that as women become more successful, their minimum bar for an acceptable partner rises as well. So the gap is real. The causes are multiple. And expectations on both sides are part of the story."

THE BIGGER PICTURE & WHAT THIS MEANS FOR DATING

So what do we actually take from all of this? The data tells us a few things:

Preferences for height and income among women are real, consistent, and documented across cultures, but how rigidly they're held in practice varies.
The pool of men who meet the most commonly stated preferences is genuinely small. That's not an opinion — it's census math.
There is a real and documented gender gap in singlehood, with more young men single than young women, and more single men actively seeking relationships than single women.
As women become more educated and financially independent, their minimum standards for a partner tend to rise.
No calculator can measure the things that actually make a long-term relationship succeed, communication, respect, shared values, and emotional maturity.

The Female Delusion Calculator is a conversation starter built on real data. Whether it's a useful reality check or a misogynist meme dressed up in statistics probably depends on who's using it and why.