Philippines - Hallmark Movie or Horror Film
MONEY BUYS A GOOD TIME, NOT HAPPINESS.
If you don't understand this before you land, the Philippines will expose it fast. The US dollar stretches further, and age gap romance is a real thing here; however, if you have not matured to the point that you are happy with yourself, secure in not offering to pay for everything, and can resist falling for the first girl you meet, you won’t be starring in a Hallmark movie, you’ll be the star in a real life horror film! Your money will not buy happiness here. Money will allow you to live a comfortable life, but when the honeymoon is over, you will likely find yourself miserable and return to the USA.
There is real research on money and happiness, and it’s more complicated than most people assume. We will touch on it here, but I have provided citations below if you’re interested in digging deeper.
Back in 2010, researcher Daniel Kahneman found that day-to-day happiness rose with income only up to about $75,000 a year. Past that, he found, it flattened out. More money than that. and there was no more increase in happiness.
In 2021, another researcher named Matthew Killingsworth ran the numbers a different way and found the opposite: happiness kept climbing well past that number, with no ceiling in sight.
Two researchers, same question, Different answers.
In 2023, instead of arguing, they teamed up to settle the question. They pooled their data, brought in a neutral third researcher, and reanalyzed everything together. Here's what they found:
They were both right, just about different people. For most people, happiness keeps rising with income and never really plateaus.
But for people who are already unhappy, more money stops helping once they cross about $100,000 a year.
Translate that to your move: if you're miserable now, a bigger bank account in a cheaper country does not fix the misery. It just gives the misery a nicer view.
YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY BEFORE YOU ARRIVE, NOT AFTER
Culture shock is real, it will impact you, and it has stages. Researchers going back to Oberg in 1960 mapped it the following way: honeymoon, crisis, recovery, and adjustment. Every expat hits the crisis stage. The men who weren't centered before they left, mistake that crisis for proof they made a mistake. They quit when they're supposed to push through.
THE MATERIAL TRAP
You have to be emotionally centered to survive here. If you need things built to Western standards, this move will continually frustrate you. Houses here are not built to the same trim, efficiency, or code standards as done in the U.S. If you need a perfectly constructed home, no bugs, large open spaces and no brownouts to feel comfortable, you won’t find it here unless you’re truly wealthy by western standards.
Many Westerners last less than two years before heading home for good, not because they ran out of money, but because they never dealt with their own issues before they arrived.
WHAT EMOTIONALLY CENTERED ACTUALLY MEANS
You have a purpose here beyond spending money. A project, a routine, a reason to get up
Your expectations are realistic. You've done the research on housing, healthcare, and daily life
You've made peace with what you're leaving behind, instead of running from it
You are truly confident in your own worth. If you’re bothered by social media slights, you won’t last long.
SUMMARY
Money buys comfort and a good time. It does not buy happiness, and it will not fix what was broken before you left. Two researchers spent over a decade disagreeing about this before reconciling their data: more money helps most people, but it cannot fix unhappy people. Be honest about your material expectations, understand that culture shock is normal and temporary, and get your emotions in check. Know what you want in your relationships, and know your purpose before you book the ticket. The Philippines will amplify who you already are. Make sure that's someone you want more of.
Better thinking, does equal a better life,
Joe
VERIFIED CITATIONS
Kahneman, Killingsworth & Mellers, "Income and emotional well-being: A conflict resolved," PNAS, March 2023 — https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2208661120
Coverage of the 2023 Kahneman/Killingsworth reconciliation, including the "rich and miserable, more money won't help" finding — https://www.zmescience.com/science/news-science/money-does-buy-happiness-life-satisfaction-rises-in-concert-with-wealth-new-study-shows/
Oberg, K. (1960), "Culture Shock: Adjustment to New Cultural Environments" — overview of the honeymoon/crisis/recovery/adjustment model — https://business-psychology.iresearchnet.com/intercultural-psychology/expatriate-adjustment/
"Why Western Retirees Are Quietly Fleeing the Philippines" — reporting on the roughly two-year average stay before retirees return home for good — https://nakedexpat.com/fyi/why-western-retirees-are-quietly-fleeing-the-philippines-a-cautionary-tale/
"Veterans Living in the Philippines: The Reality Abroad" — on honest expectation-setting for veteran retirees — https://www.escapeartist.com/blog/beyond-paradise-the-reality-overseas-veterans-experience-living-in-the-philippines/
"Expat Retirement in the Philippines Isn't That Simple" — on mismatched expectations around housing and lifestyle — https://www.positivelyfilipino.com/magazine/expat-retirement-in-the-philippines-isnt-that-simple